From Angela Duckworth’s “Grit”
How To Develop Grit for Your Kids.
“Nevertheless, as a parent and as a social scientist, I would recommend that, as soon as your child is old enough, you find something they might enjoy doing outside of class and sign them up. In fact, if I could wave a magic wand, I’d have all the children in the world engage in at least one extracurricular activity of their choice, and as for those in high school, I’d require that they stick with at least one activity for more than a year.” (p. 224)
“Do I think every moment of a child’s day should be scripted? Not at all. But I do think kids thrive when they spend at least some part of their week doing hard things that interest them.” (p. 224)
“There are countless research studies showing that kids who are more involved in extracurriculars fare better on just about every conceivable metric—they earn better grades, have higher self-esteem, are less likely to get in trouble and so forth.” (p. 225)
“Indeed, I struggled to provide the sort of feedback I knew my children needed. I found myself enthusiastically praising them no matter what they did. And this is one of the reasons extracurricular activities offer superior playing fields for grit—coaches and teachers are tasked with bringing forth grit in children who are not their own.” (p. 240)
“In our family, we live by the Hard Thing Rule. It has three parts. The first is that everyone—including Mom and Dad—has to do a hard thing.” (p. 241)
“This brings me to the second part of the Hard Thing Rule: You can quit. But you can’t quit until the season is over, the tuition payment is up, or some other “natural” stopping point has arrived.” (p. 241)
“And, finally, the Hard Thing Rule states that you get to pick your hard thing. Nobody picks it for you because, after all, it would make no sense to do a hard thing you’re not even vaguely interested in.” (p. 241)
“A fourth requirement will be added: each girl must commit to at least one activity, either something new or the piano and viola they’ve already started, for at least two years.” (p. 242)
“I’d like to propose that parents who want to cultivate grit in their children abide by the Hard Thing Rule and, in addition, the Fun Thing Rule. Ask your kids to do something that will teach them, through experience, deliberate practice and resilience. But also make sure they’re doing things that they find interesting and enjoyable, even if it doesn’t seem that they could ever lead to anything more serious. Why? Because the ultimate goal is to grow up to develop a calling—a fun thing that is also a hard thing.” (p. 278)