Be Sympathetic with the Other Person’s Ideas and Desires.
“Wouldn’t you like to have a magic phrase that would stop arguments, eliminate ill feeling, create good will, and make the other person listen attentively? Yes? All right. Here it is: “I don’t blame you one iota for feeling as you do. If I were you I would undoubtedly feel just as you do.” (p. 208)
“Three-fourths of the people you will ever meet are hungering and thirsting for sympathy. Give it to them, and they will love you.” (p. 209)
Example:
Carnegie said a lady was from Concord New Hampshire instead of Concord MA. He made this mistake twice. The lady vented her anger in letters and telegrams. Carnegie phoned the lady to apologize and showed empathy. The lady reciprocated by apologizing for her bad temper.
A girl started to play piano but had long fingernails. The teacher could have demanded her to cut her fingernails, but that would have caused resentment. Instead the teacher said this,
“Babette, you have attractive hands and beautiful fingernails. If you want to play the piano as well as you are capable of and as well as you would like to, you would be surprised how much quicker and easier it would be for you, if you would trim your nails shorter. Just think about it, okay?” (p. 214)
She was not happy, but in the next lesson, she did cut her fingernails.
Sol Hurok handled world famous artists. He said the key to handling the temperamental starts is sympathy, sympathy, sympathy.