From Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People.
Become genuinely interested in other people.
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” (p. 78)
“Yet I know and you know people who blunder through life trying to wigwag other people into becoming interested in them. Of course, it doesn’t work. People are not interested in you. They are not interested in me. They are interested in themselves—morning, noon and after dinner.” (p. 78)
“If we want to make friends, let’s put ourselves out to do things for other people—things that require time, energy, unselfishness and thoughtfulness.” (p. 85)
“If we merely try to impress people and get people interested in us, we will never have many true, sincere friends. Friends, real friends, are not made that way.” (p. 78)
“It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.” (p. 79)
Examples:
- Mr. Walter goal was to acquire information from the President of a Bank. The President did not give any information. Mr. Walter noticed the President likes to collect stamps for his son. Mr. Walter brought stampls for his next time, and they talked about stamps and his son for a long time. Then the President gave him all the info Mr. Walter needed.
- Mr. Knaple tried to sell his fuel for years to a chain store organization, but was rejected. Finally Mr. Knaple decided to talk to the chain store organization, not for selling his fuel, but for being interested in why chain stores are good. The chain store organization talked to Mr. Knaple for a long time and at the end of the conversation said they would put in a order.
- A Magician was very successful because he was genuinely interested in making his audience happy. Every day he was truly grateful for his audience and wanted to give the best show he could give. Every time before he went on stage he would say ” I love my audience, I love my audience”
- A fiddler became loved and successful at the age of 72 because he was genuinely interested in learning the background and interests of every musician he met. He was not the best fiddler but he was beloved.
- Theodore Roosevelt was beloved because he showed in interest in other people including humble servants and even knew their name.
- An owner of a store first rejected a saleman’s pitch. Later the owner heard that the salesman showed genuine interest in a boy and other people in his store. So he changed his mind a decided to use the salesman’s products.
- After WW1 German Kaiser was probably the most despised man on earth. A little boy wrote Kaiser a letter. “This little boy said that no matter what the others thought, he would always love Wilhelm as his emperor. The Kaiser was deeply touched by his letter and invited the little boy to come to see him. The boy came, so did his mother—and the Kaiser married her.” (p. 84)