3 min. read
You can’t get rid of bad habits. The best thing you can do is change a bad habit with a different habit. In order to change your bad habit, you need to keep the cue, keep the reward, but change the routine.
“That’s the rule: If you use the same cue, and provide the same reward, you can shift the routine and change the habit. Almost any behavior can be transformed if the cue and reward stay the same.” (p. 62)
The problem is when you have a bad habit, it’s sometimes hard to know what the cue and reward really is.
To figure out what the reward is, you have to do some experimenting.
For example, the author had a bad habit of eating cookies every day. Was the reward the taste of the cookie? Or was it something else? To experiment, he tried eating an apple. He tried drinking coffee. He tried eating nothing and socialized. He eventually found out it wasn’t the taste of the cookie that was the reward. It was the socializing after eating a cookie that was the reward. So instead of eating a cookie, he simply socialized.
In order to figure out what the cue is, you need take notes. When you feel a habit coming, you need to write down what you are feeling, where you are, and the time. You should do this every time you feel a habit coming. This will help you figure out what the cue is.
Once you figure out what the cue and reward are, simply change the routine. Then you will have replaced a bad habit with a new habit!
Examples:
1, Mandy had a bad habit of biting her nails until they bled. She was not aware why or when she was doing this. She took notes on a notecard every time she bit her nails. She realized she bit her nails during class or when she’s watching tv. She realized she bit her nails due to boredom. She also realized she could feel a tension in her fingers right before she started biting her nails. This tension is her cue.
Now that Mandy knows her cue, all she has to do is change the routine to change her bad habit.
Mandy now is more conscious when she’s in class or watching tv, she may start biting her nails. As soon as she feels the tension come up in her fingers, she changes her routine. Instead of biting her nails, she puts her hands in her pockets, or under her legs. Then she would rub her arm or do anything that would produce a physical response.
Mandy continued to take notes each time a habit happened. She wrote a check mark on each notecard when she replaced the bad habit with the new habit.
After 1 month, she no longer bites her nails. The new routine has become the new habit.
2. The author had a bad habit of eating a cookie every day at work. He wanted to stop this habit because he was gaining a lot of weight.
First he had to figure out what his cue is. He realized he usually goes to the cafeteria around 3:30pm. He also realized after getting his cookie he socialized with people there.
He realized the real reason he went to the cafeteria at 3:30pm was not really for the cookie. He realized he went to the cafeteria at 3:30pm because he was tired and needed to take a break. Socializing was his reward. Now that he knows what is his cue and reward is, he simply needs to change his routine.
He set up an alarm for 3:30pm. When the alarm rang, he would walk to a desk nearby and socialize with someone. This gave him the break he needed, without the calories of the cookie.
After a few weeks he no didn’t need to use the alarm anymore. He replaced a bad habit with a new habit. He no longer gained weight from eating a cookie.
“When a habit emerges, the brain stops fully participating in decision making. So unless you deliberately fight a habit—unless you find new routines—the pattern will unfold automatically.” (p. 20)
“Habits never really disappear. The problem is that your brain can’t tell the difference between bad and good habits, and so if you have a bad one, it’s always lurking there, waiting for the right cues and rewards.” (p. 20)