By Chip Heath’s book “Decisive”
The 3rd villain in decision making is short-term emotion.
- “This brings us to the third villain of decision making: short-term emotion. When we’ve got a difficult decision to make, our feelings churn. We replay the same arguments in our head. We agonize about our circumstances. We change our minds from day to day. If our decision was represented on a spreadsheet, none of the numbers would be changing—there’s no new information being added—but it doesn’t feel that way in our heads. We have kicked up so much dust that we can’t see the way forward. In those moments, what we need most is perspective.” (p. 21)
To counter this, use the A in WRAP- Attain distance.
- “When people share the worst decisions they’ve made in life, they are often recalling choices made in the grip of visceral emotion: anger, lust, anxiety, greed. Our lives would be very different if we had a dozen “undo” buttons to use in the aftermath of these choices.”
Here are some tips:
Literally attain some distance.
- “The millionaire teacher Hallam understood that if he got tempted into the lair of the car salesmen, he might get so enthused that he’d make a foolish purchase. So he plotted a way to avoid it. He added distance before deciding. In his case, the distance was literal—staying far away from the car lots. In general, the distance we need will be emotional. We need to downplay short-term emotion in favor of long-term values and passions.” (p. 180)
Enshrine your priorities:
- Enshrine your core priorities. “By identifying and enshrining your core priorities, you make it easier to resolve present and future dilemmas.”
- “Ramirez continued to agonize about the decision until, eventually, she realized why she was stuck: It wasn’t just a job decision; it was a values decision. Growing up, she’d always viewed herself as an “ambitious career woman,” and from that perspective, the start-up role was a no-brainer. It offered more responsibility and more growth. She’d be able to put her stamp on the place. On the other hand, as she’d gained experience in her career, she’d come to value balance in her life: time with Josh, time with friends, time with family.”
- “it suddenly hit her. A question. What do I work for? What’s the purpose of it? The thought hit her like a lightning bolt. “I almost fell off the treadmill,” she said. The thoughts came tumbling out: I work to make enough money to be secure, to travel with Josh, to take a photo class if I want, or to take my sister out for dinner. But if I don’t have enough time to do these things that I love, it won’t matter that I have more money or responsibility. It became crystal clear to her: She needed to stick with her current job. “I felt at peace about it,” she said.”
- “Now we’ll turn our attention to dilemmas like Ramirez’s, in which you find yourself torn between two options, both of which have long-term appeal. An agonizing decision like hers is often a sign of a conflict among “core priorities.” We’re using the word “core” to capture the sense of long-term emotion we’ve been discussing; these are priorities that transcend the week or the quarter. For individuals that means long-term goals and aspirations, and for organizations it means the values and capabilities that ensure the long-term health of the enterprise.”
- “Once the leaders of Interplast realized that the patient, rather than the surgeon, was their top priority, they did something important: They enshrined that priority, making it known to everyone in the organization, so that it could influence dozens or even hundreds of future decisions. It helped employees navigate decisions between two good options. (Is allowing medical residents on trips best for the patient? No, because they distract the visiting physicians from training time with local doctors, who will be there all the time for new patients.)” (p. 206)
- Click here for more information about core priorities.
Use the 10/10/10 rule:
- To use 10/10/10, we think our decisions on three different time frames: How will we feel about it 10 minutes from now? How about 10 months from now? How about 10 years from now?”
- “We asked Annie to try the 10/10/10 framework. Imagine that you resolve right now to tell him, this weekend, that you love him.
How would you feel about that decision 10 minutes from now? “I think I’d be nervous but proud of myself for taking the risk and putting myself out there.”
How would you feel about it 10 months from now? “I don’t think I’ll regret this. I don’t. I mean, obviously, I really would like this to work. I think he’s great. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?”
How about 10 years from now? Annie said that, regardless of how he’d reacted, it probably wouldn’t matter very much after a decade. By then they’d either be happily together or she would be in a happy relationship with someone else.”
Ask yourself, “What would I tell my best friend to do in this situation?”
- “Perhaps the most powerful question for resolving personal decisions is “What would I tell my best friend to do in this situation?”
- “The advice we give others, then, has two big advantages: It naturally prioritizes the most important factors in the decision, and it downplays short-term emotions. That’s why, in helping us to break a decision logjam, the single most effective question may be: What would I tell my best friend to do in this situation?”
- “when we’re giving advice, we find it easier to focus on the most important factors. So when we are advising a friend, we think, Job B is going to make her happier and more satisfied over the long term. It seems relatively simple. But when we think about ourselves, we let complexity intrude. Wait, wouldn’t it disappoint Dad if I gave up the prestige of Job A?”
- “our advice to others tends to hinge on the single most important factor, while our own thinking flits among many variables. When we think of our friends, we see the forest. When we think of ourselves, we get stuck in the trees.“
- “Andrew Grove, the CEO of Intel, had a tough time deciding if Intel should focus on memories or microprocessors. Intel had huge success with memories, but the future could be about microprocessors. Should Intel give up memories and focus on microprocessors? Grove agonized over this decision. He gave himself distance. He asked himself “What would our successors do?” He choose microprocessors and the rest is history.”
Beware of loss aversion:
- “Our decisions are often altered by two subtle short-term emotions: (1) mere exposure: we like what’s familiar to us; and (2) loss aversion: losses are more painful than gains are pleasant.”
- “How many of our organizational truths are ideas that we like merely because they’ve been repeated a lot?”
- “Students given a mug won’t sell it for less than $7.12, even though five minutes earlier they wouldn’t have paid more than $2.87!”
- “Loss aversion + mere exposure = status-quo bias.”
- “PayPal: Ditching the PalmPilot product was a no-brainer—but it didn’t feel that way.”
We obtain distance from looking at an observers point of view.
- Andy Grove asked, “What would our successors do?”
- “Adding distance highlights what is most important; it allows us to see the forest, not the trees.”