Let the Other Person Save Face
“Even if we are right and the other person is definitely wrong, we only destroy ego by causing someone to lose face. The legendary French aviation pioneer and author Antoine de Saint-Exupéry wrote: “I have no right to say or do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him, but what he thinks of himself. Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime.”(p. 260)
Examples:
GE wanted to fire a brilliant man from as the head of the calculating department. Instead of hurting his pride, they gave him a new title as Consulting Engineer to GE. He was still doing the same work, but they let someone else become head of the calculating dept.
After the busy tax season is over, accountants aren’t needed and are fired. Often they feel let down. The head accountant tried a different approach. Before firing them, he told them how he appreciates their hard work and how they have a bright future. This helps softens the blow, and the accountants are more likely to come back.
An Employee was given a major assignment. She realized she made a mistake and had to redo the assignment.
“Instead, he thanked me for my work and remarked that it was not unusual for a person to make an error on a new project and that he had confidence that the repeat survey would be accurate and meaningful to the company. He assured me, in front of all my colleagues, that he had faith in me and knew I had done my best, and that my lack of experience, not my lack of ability, was the reason for the failure.”
“I left that meeting with my head up in the air and with the determination that I would never let that boss of mine down again.” (p. 260)