Owning the Frame

From Shane Parrish’s Decision Making Course.

Owning the Frame

The Automatic Behavior: Do the work to find a credible third option.

Many decisions seem like a choice between this or that. But the reality is, there is almost always another way. Forcing yourself to find at least one more option will not only make you feel better, but will improve your outcomes.

One of the most important skills you can develop as a decision maker is to get out of the tendency to see the world in binaries.

For example: when the same executive board ranked those decisions — that small 5% of decisions that had three options? 40% of them were evaluated as having “very good” outcomes.

The other 95% of decisions where their options were binary — the executives ranked only 6% of the outcomes as “very good.” SIX PERCENT.

Getting out of binary by including just ONE more option gave them a 600+% higher chance of making what they felt was a good decision in retrospect.

Never allow anyone else to frame the problem AND never allow anyone to present only two solutions.

Examples:

When most of us think about deciding, we often revert to assuming our solution is a choice between two options:

• This job or that job.
• Buy the BMW or the Audi.
• Have children or don’t.
• Get married or don’t.
• Stay or Leave.

They are framed as “whether or not” to buy something, or “do this or that” decisions. In other words, we often act as if our choices are binary — having to choose just one of only two options. And when the problem gets framed by binary thinking, because we assume those are the only options, we miss out on opportunities for more creative solutions.

Whether consciously or not, other people’s view of a problem can trap us into only seeing their solutions.

Four ways to get out of Binary Thinking:

1. Vanishing Options: Assume one of the options isn’t available. How can you make the other option work? Assume the other option isn’t available and you have to make your first option work. How would you?

2. This AND That: Discover ways solutions can work together. Sometimes, but not always, you can have your cake and eat it too.

3. Opportunity Cost: By exploring the opportunity cost of your potential solutions, you might discover hidden options.

4. Gathering More Information: While we tend toward fight or flight, sometimes we just need to hold our ground and preserve options while we wait for more information.

TECHNIQUE 1: Vanishing Options:

Ask yourself, if one of the options you’re considering was gone — completely off the table — what would you do?

For example —Perhaps you’re considering whether or not to stay at a job where you don’t get along with a coworker. Your binary here is stay or leave.

Now, I want you to practice eliminating the option of leaving. Imagine for some reason there is absolutely no way to quit your job. You MUST stay.

What could you do to make going to work every day more enjoyable? What could you do to stay at your job and still move closer to your objectives? What could you do to stay and give yourself more options in the future so you’re not stuck feeling powerless?

If you had to stay, maybe that means having a hard conversation with your boss and your coworker that you haven’t had yet.

Maybe that means putting in a for a transfer to another department. Maybe that’s asking your boss if you can work remotely.

Now flip the situation around.

Try eliminating the other option you were considering.

Eliminate staying at your job. Now, you have to leave. Imagine you’re being laid off at
the end of the month.

What would you do? Pause the video and think about it for 30 seconds.

Would you call up old clients and see if they need help?

Would you get a hold of people in your network and see if they can make an
introduction at their company?

TECHNIQUE TWO: This AND That options:

When we think in “this OR that” about our choices we neglect to see how solutions can work together. So another technique for getting out of binary thinking is “this AND that” options.

One area where we tend to be pretty good at combining solutions is vacations. We ask everyone what they want to do, and then try to find a place that does it all. This is why resorts or cruises offer a long list of activities. The more variety, the more attractive they are to groups with different interests. So we rarely have to choose between the beach or the pool. We can have both. You can apply the same thinking to other areas of your life.

In your career:

Can you stay AND update your resume AND begin to reach out to your network? Can you apply for jobs?

Can you go to school in the evenings to acquire a new skill? Can you start a creative project or side business? Can you do anything in addition to your job that will give you the outlet you need, and improve your capabilities and engagement at work?

Our personal lives also benefit from ‘this and that’ thinking. So often we expect our partners to fulfill 100% of our emotional needs. That’s a lot to ask of anyone, and most of us experience relationship challenges because of inevitable disappointments. But instead of asking, should I stay with them anyway or leave? Ask yourself instead, is there anyone else that could meet some of my emotional needs that my partner can’t? Do I have a colleague that I could vent to at work if I need to? Do I have a friend who shares this interest or who will take this class with me?

When we think of adding people to our lives, we start to open up “this and that” options for ways to meet our emotional needs.

So, instead of it being the binary of “should I leave my partner or stay with them.” we start to say, ok, this is what the can do really well. Now, who else can I include in my life to help with the rest? This person and that person.

So, when you’re considering “should I do this or that”, change up your thinking and move towards how you can do “this AND that”.

TECHNIQUE THREE: Explore the opportunity cost.

When we decide to buy something and have to choose amongst options — like purchasing a car — we often make a mental list of what we like and dislike and we imagine which one will bring us the most joy.

The Tesla will look extra cool and be fuel efficient, but will it be good for road trips? A BMW looks great and has more cargo space, but is it behind the curve to go with gas powered. Should I get the car that’s $42,000 or $37,000?

Unfortunately, we’re terrible predictors of what actually brings us joy and satisfaction. We focus solely on what we are gaining and forget to factor in what we are giving up when we make a choice. We forget to explore the opportunity cost.

How does the choice between the two cars change if you factor in what you are giving up if you buy the more expensive one? If you buy the Tesla, it’s going to cost you $5000 more than the BMW. So what are you not going to do with that $5000 dollars? Are you giving up a family vacation? Or the dividends that money will earn after 20 years in the stock market?

And money is not the only resource to consider in terms of opportunity cost.

The house in the suburbs will change your commute each way from a predictable half an hour to an unpredictable hour and a half. What are you not going to get done because you’re spending an extra two hours a day in transit?

TECHNIQUE FOUR: Gather More Information.

Finally, there is a fourth technique that great decision makers I know use all the time. And this one is dead simple and strikingly effective: Gather More Information.

Remember the source of all bad decisions is something you didn’t know at the time you made the decision. So … If you don’t have to make the decision now, don’t. If you have an inclination as to which choice you’d make, ask yourself what information would change your mind. If you don’t have an inclination as to which choice you’re leaning towards, ask yourself what information would help you decide. Through the process of gathering more information, other options tend to present themselves. While holding your ground and observing isn’t sexy, it’s effective.

We don’t need a lot of additional options, just a few really good ones.

Better questions get better answers. This is why, if you’re the decision maker, you need to own the frame That means never allowing others to define the problem for you but it also means never being limited by the options presented.

Quick Recap:

Many decisions seem like a choice between this or that. But the reality is, there is almost always another way. Forcing yourself to find at least one more option will not only make you feel better, but will improve your outcomes.

As you can see Solving the Root Problem and Owning the Frame complement each other well. In one you’re making sure you solve the right problem, in the other you’re making sure you don’t get trapped into considering only two potential solutions.

We covered four ways to get out of binary thinking:

1. Vanishing Options: Assume one of the options isn’t available. How can you make the other option work? Assume the other option isn’t available and you have to make your first option work. How would you? 
   
   
2. This AND That: Discover ways solutions can work together. Sometimes, but not always, you can have your cake and eat it too. 
   
   
3. Opportunity Cost: By exploring the opportunity cost of your potential solutions, you might discover hidden options. 
   
   
4. Gathering More Information: While we tend toward fight or flight, sometimes we just need to hold our ground and preserve options while we wait for more information. 

In the practice scenario, I framed the problem as this job or that job. And it’s true that many personal decisions revert to binary thinking. But this type of thinking happens in the workplace too- do we launch this product or no? Do we do this operation or not? Many decisions seem like a choice between this or that. But the reality is there is almost always another way. Forcing yourself to find at least one more option will not only make you feel better, but will improve your outcomes.

How Can I Apply this Professionally?

If you’re the decision maker:

• Never allow anyone else to frame the problem AND never allow anyone to present only two solutions. Define the problem. Then, and only then, define the solutions. When you see only two solutions or find yourself thinking in binary, there is almost always another way. Often the third way is to gather more information, allowing you to make a better choice down the road while you keep options open. 
  
  
• If you’re a participant in a decision but not the decision maker:
  
  
• Being part of a group that’s locked into binary thinking is a tricky spot. On one hand you’re not the decision maker and need to be aware of your role in the decision. On the other hand, you see something the group can’t because of their perceptions.
  
  What I’ve found most helpful in these scenarios is to gather more information that allows you to present a path to a better choice. Framing it to the group in a way that asks what information we’d need to know before committing to one of the binary options often works more effectively than providing a new, third option. While you’re gathering more information you have the time to create more options and have probably opened people up to diving into the problem.
  
  
• Asking people what information would you need to pick A and what information would you need to pick B is a helpful starting place — as it means they are open to changing their mind if certain things are true. Now you’re starting to uncover the most important thing. 
  
  
  
  

How Can I Apply this Personally?

Any of the four techniques apply personally. Our personal relationships are not as hierarchical, and we are often both a participant in the decision and a decision maker. Thus, exploring any of the four techniques via questions during a conversation with your partner or friends allows for a positive dialogue to emerge. When you all participate in exploring options and considering opportunity costs, you increase the buy-in to the eventual solution. And, for those of you with families, children are a great source of ideas for third options to solve problems in the house!  

You’re Ready To Move On To the Next Lesson When The Following Are Complete:

• I’ve created a new choices in the practice scenario.
  
  
• I have a non-binary decision statement for my own problem.
  
  
• I’ve practiced using the vanishing options test and identified additional options
  
  
• I’ve looked for options that include pursuing multiple options at once
  
  
• I’ve asked where else I could invest resources to reach my objectives.