“The Happiness Advantage” from Shawn Achor
Principle 4- Falling Up.
“Study after study shows that if we are able to conceive of a failure as an opportunity for growth, we are all the more likely to experience that growth. Conversely, if we conceive of a fall as the worst thing in the world, it becomes just that.” (p. 109)
“Bereavement, bone marrow transplantation, breast cancer, chronic illness, heart attack, military combat, natural disaster, physical assault, refugee displacement. If this reads like a random clip from an alphabetized nightmare list of the very worst things that can befall us, that’s because it basically is. But it also happens to be a list of events that researchers have found to spur profound positive growth in many, many individuals.2 Psychologists have termed this experience Adversarial Growth, or Post-Traumatic Growth, to distinguish it from the better-known term Post-Traumatic Stress.” (p. 109)
““it has only been in the last 25 years or so that this phenomenon, the possibility of something good emerging from the struggle with something very difficult, has been the focus of systematic theorizing and empirical investigation.” Thanks to this study, today we can say for certain, not just anecdotally, that great suffering or trauma can actually lead to great positive change across a wide range of experiences.” (p. 110)
“The most successful people see adversity not as a stumbling block, but as a stepping-stone to greatness. Indeed, early failure is often the fuel for the very ideas that eventually transform industries, make record profits, and reinvent careers. We’ve all heard the usual examples: Michael Jordan cut from his high school basketball team, Walt Disney fired by a newspaper editor for not being creative enough, the Beatles turned away by a record executive who told them that “guitar groups are on their way out.” In fact, many of their winning mantras essentially describe the notion of falling up: “I’ve failed over and over again in my life,” Jordan once said, “and that is why I succeed.” Robert F. Kennedy said much the same: “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” And Thomas Edison, too, once claimed that he had failed his way to success.” (p. 111)
“You’ve probably heard the oft-told story of the two shoe salesmen who were sent to Africa in the early 1900s to assess opportunities. They wired separate telegrams back to their boss. One read: “Situation hopeless. They don’t wear shoes.” The other read: “Glorious opportunity! They don’t have any shoes yet.”” (p. 118)
“Imagine two stockbrokers. For simplicity we’ll call them Ben and Paul. Both are making high six-figure salaries, plus bonuses. Both have been in their positions for many years and expect to be in them many years more. And then comes the financial tsunami that sweeps them both away. Paul is devastated: His way of life is at stake (as is his special-order Mercedes). And every day brings worse news, a running invitation to sink deeper in despair. Ben, while initially just as upset, chooses to see the event as an opportunity to reevaluate his goals and pursue a new project. Similar backgrounds, almost identical professional experiences, very different outcomes.” (p. 118)
“We all know people who have reacted to adversity like Paul. But Ben’s story is just as real. Ben Axler was an associate director in the investment banking division at Barclays when he was unexpectedly laid off.16 Instead of feeling sorry for himself, he decided there was no time like the present to make the career move he’d been dreaming of, and he started a hedge fund. In short, Ben capitalized on his bad luck by turning it into an opportunity. And the opportunity turned out to be a good one; despite the down economy, he was able to sign up a whole slew of clients and ended up both happier, and better off financially than when he started, all because he was able to find the Third Path.” (p. 119)
““for every company that slims down its operation, another discovers new ways of doing things that should have been in effect for years but were overlooked during the boom.” Economic adversity forces companies to find creative ways to cut costs and inspires managers to get back in touch with the employees and operations on the ground floor.” (p. 119)
“Decades of subsequent study have since shown that explanatory style—how we choose to explain the nature of past events—has a crucial impact on our happiness and future success.23 People with an optimistic explanatory style interpret adversity as being local and temporary (i.e., “It’s not that bad, and it will get better.”) while those with a pessimistic explanatory style see these events as more global and permanent (i.e., “It’s really bad, and it’s never going to change.”). Their beliefs then directly affect their actions; the ones who believe the latter statement sink into helplessness and stop trying, while the ones who believe the former are spurred on to higher performance.” (p. 123)
“Virtually all avenues of success, we now know, are dictated by explanatory style. It predicts how well students do in high school, and even how well new recruits do at the U.S. Military Academy: First-year plebes with a more optimistic explanatory style perform better than test scores predict, and are less likely to drop out than their peers.24 In the world of sports, studies of athletes ranging from collegiate swimmers to professional baseball players show that explanatory style predicts athletic performance.25 It even predicts how well people recover after coronary bypass surgery.” (p. 123)
“testing revealed that the agents with more optimistic styles sold 37 percent more insurance than those with pessimistic ones, and that the most optimistic agents actually sold fully 88 percent more than the most pessimistic ones. Furthermore, agents who were more optimistic were half as likely to quit as were the pessimists.” (p. 124)
“Some people already have an optimistic explanatory style. They automatically imagine alternative scenarios that make them feel fortunate, interpret setbacks as short-lived and small in scope, and see inherent opportunity where others only see foreboding. Others don’t have an optimistic explanatory style. Luckily, these techniques can be learned.” (p. 125)
“For example, we might assume that a horrible injury would forever alter our ability to be happy, but in fact, after an initial adjustment and period of hardship, most victims of paralysis bounce back to just about the same level of happiness they experienced before.28 Simply speaking, the human psyche is so much more resilient than we even realize. Which is why, when faced with a terrible prospect—for example, the end of a love affair or of a job—we overestimate how unhappy it will make us and for how long. We fall victim to “immune neglect,” which means we consistently forget how good our psychological immune system is at helping us get over adversity.” (p. 126)
“So the next time you catch yourself feeling hopeless—or helpless—about some snag in your career, some frustration at your job, or some disappointment in your personal life, remember that there is always a Third Path upwards—your only task is to find it. And above all, remember that success is not about never falling down or even simply about falling down and getting back up over and over like I did in the Helping the Elderly experiment. Success is about more than simple resilience. It’s about using that downward momentum to propel ourselves in the opposite direction. It’s about capitalizing on setbacks and adversity to become even happier, even more motivated, and even more successful. It’s not falling down, it’s falling up.” (p. 126)