Psychology Articles

Be Sympathetic with the Other Person's Ideas and Desires. "Wouldn’t you like to have a magic phrase that would stop arguments, eliminate ill feeling, create good will, and make the other person listen attentively? Yes? All right. Here it is: “I don’t blame you one...

Call Attention to People's Mistakes Indirectly. Instead of criticizing someone of their mistakes directly, do it in an indirect way. Examples: A lady hired a construction company to build an addition to her house. She noticed the workers left a mess on her lawn each...

Begin With Praise and Honest Appreciation. "It is always easier to listen to unpleasant things after we have heard some praise of our good points." (p. 237) A writer wrote a speech for McKinley. McKinley didn't think it was good enough, but praised him before asking...

Talk About Your Own Mistakes Before Criticizing the Other Person. Before you criticize someone, to soften the blow, talk about your own mistakes first. Carnegie started to criticize his 19 year old secretary, but realized he was much worse at her age. "One day when I...

Ask Questions Instead of Giving Direct Orders. "He always gave suggestions, not orders. Owen D. Young never said, for example, “Do this or do that,” or “Don’t do this or don’t do that.” He would say, “You might consider this,” or “Do you think that would work?”...

Let the Other Person Save Face "Even if we are right and the other person is definitely wrong, we only destroy ego by causing someone to lose face. The legendary French aviation pioneer and author Antoine de Saint-Exupéry wrote: “I have no right to say or do anything...

Use Encouragement. Make the Fault Seem Easy to Correct. "Tell your child, your spouse, or your employee that he or she is stupid or dumb at a certain thing, has no gift for it, and is doing it all wrong, and you have destroyed almost every incentive to try to improve....

Throw Down a Challenge. "Let Charles Schwab say it in his own words: “The way to get things done,” says Schwab, “is to stimulate competition. I do not mean in a sordid, money-getting way, but in the desire to excel.” (p. 229) "That is what every successful person...

Give the Other Person a Fine Reputation to Live Up to. "if you want to improve a person in a certain respect, act as though that particular trait were already one of his or her outstanding characteristics." (p. 268) "Give them a fine reputation to live up to, and they...

Make the Other Person Happy About Doing the Thing You Suggest. A boy's chore was to pick up pears from under a pear tree so the lawn mower didn't have to pick them up. He didn't like this chore. The father decided not to scold him and said, ‘Jeff, I’ll make a deal...